On To Do Lists…

I try not to fall into the trap of New Years Resolutions.  They seem like a good idea for the first few days – and I think it has a lot to do with the killer hangover people are usually nursing on New Years Day – but after that, they tend to get lost in the shuffle of living day to day and then you end up regretting your hubris the next New Years Eve and repeating the cycle all over again.  Me, on the other hand, I try to set goals rather than resolutions.  Would I like to be skinnier, sure I would.  Do I think it’s a good idea to be a better person, probably.  Could I swear less, of course.  But these are the sorts of things you should be working on anyway – and they’re the kinds of things that get lost after a couple of days or weeks.  For me, it’s all about the tangible and real – things you can reach out and touch and work for concretely – and things you’ll know you’ve achieved once you’ve gotten there.

Last year I set forth the desire to know how to make perfect macarons – with a slightly raised foot and an uncracked top.  I didn’t make it all the way there.  I’ve gotten the foot smack on and they don’t crack anymore, but they are still more oval than round.  (Something I can chalk up to my life-long animosity toward pastry bags and piping tips.)  All things considered, I’m putting that one in the “win” column, if only because that’s perfect enough for me.  (One of those “big,” “pervasive” and “intangible” things I learned this year, though it wasn’t something I set out to grasp, is the value of letting things go and not getting down over imperfections.  I don’t want to be the next iron chef and I also don’t want to be that person who sucks all the joy out of what they’re doing by fussing over a cookie that flattened – it’s the flavor that I want to be good at, not the look.)

The internet is rife with people doing the same – Wardrobe Refashion and 101 in 1001.  Even at HPFF people are being challenged to read all, or as many, of the Pulitzer winners as possible in 2010.  I haven’t taken up any group causes but that doesn’t mean I won’t still spend a good deal of time searching for a support group of my very own.

For Today:

• somehow stay awake until the end of the work day
• remain productive despite my desire to collapse into a pit of exhaustion
• go to bed early and drink lots of water

For Tomorrow:

• design something for print.  I made a promise to work on something every day and I’ve been working on everything but this.

For 2010:

• launch “the business”
• go to infinitus and have fun despite my misanthropic desire for anonymity.
• write a proposal for infinitus and try not to be self-sabotaging because of above or because I feel I have nothing of any real value to say to these people.
• be self-sabotaging for a new and unique reason.
• move some place a little wonderful
• edit undone and have the proof copy printed
• find someone who can give me honest feedback on same and ask for it.

And Beyond:

• find a way to work from home, be it actual employment or freelance work
• send more care packages
• act my age and go out more often!
• keep writing, if only because it surprises people.
• continue to recognize that there is always something I don’t know how to do and learn to do it.  (this feeds into my ultimate goal of possessing the title of MOST DIVERSELY EDUCATED PERSON EVER and ensuing WORLD DOMINATION)